They Know Not What They Do by Jussi Valtonen

Author:Jussi Valtonen [Valtonen Jussi]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Oneworld Publications

The world had always been bound for destruction, of course, but never like it was now. There was over 400 ppm of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere, and the number was rising every minute. An island of plastic garbage the size of Texas was drifting across the Pacific Ocean and was impossible to clean up, because it wasn’t an island but soup, Samuel would never meet anyone ever again, and there wasn’t a single glass that was half-empty; they were all filled to the brim with piss.

If before he’d had a reason to get up from the couch twice a day – to masturbate to the cute host of the chat-based television program – now he couldn’t even muster the energy to do that. His little brothers looked at him, their childish faces grave with compassion. They clearly wanted to help. But of course they had their own lives, relationships, and busy day care careers to look after.

When he couldn’t fall asleep at night, Samuel would read his Finland Today article, overcome with shame. It was unbelievable how positively his thoughts had been interpreted. As our courageous high-school senior Mr Heinonen indicates, there is still hope for the world. It was hard to say who was more naïve: the young writer who’d made a fool of himself or the patronizing head-patters with their simpering replies. Even terrifying things could be turned around, supposedly, if we all just got down to work. Only an immature high schooler could live in such a bubble. This whole time, his essay had preached catastrophe; he just hadn’t realized it. Its primary point was that, in contrast to common belief, people couldn’t make an impact with their consumer choices, because they didn’t know what they were doing.

He hadn’t told Mom or Henri that he had accidentally given up his spot at the university, but they sensed that things had gone awry. Lying on his bed, he could hear through the door as Henri explained to Taisto in the entryway: ‘Samuel’s not feeling very well right now.’

Ukko was thrilled. ‘Is he barfing?’ Ukko had had the stomach flu that spring and had developed a deep fascination with the topic.

‘No,’ Henri said. ‘Not feeling well in a different way.’

‘Maybe he’ll start feeling worse,’ Ukko said hopefully.

Samuel could hear Taisto’s footsteps stomping up to his door, as resolutely as ever.

‘I’m gonna ask him for some spit.’

‘Please don’t,’ Henri said.

‘But if he’s sick…’

Taisto needed a sample of the patient’s spit for his microscope. He was interested in all manner of bugs, unlike Ukko, who was only interested in those that caused vomiting. Our little generalist and specialist, was what Henri told his colleagues.

‘Please don’t.’

‘But if he’s sick…’

‘Now is not a good time, buddy.’

‘But I want to look at it under the microscope.’

‘Not now, Taisto.’

‘Dad, guess what “lamb” is in pig Latin.’

‘What?’

‘Ambahambakamba.’

‘Is that so.’

‘Didja know, Dad? Didja know? I’m gonna ask Samuel if he knew.’

‘Don’t ask him.’

‘I call the front seat.’

‘No way, I do!’

The little men thundered out the front door with Henri, none of them remembering Samuel’s existence.

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